When a relationship gets into a rut it’s mostly due to one of the partners or both believing there is a lack of CLEAR, HONEST, FREE communication. Try these 5 excellent rut breakers:
Understand that what is important to you isn’t important to your partner.
Every person on earth has a different set of values and they place those values in the order they need at any given time.
An 8 year old child’s number one priority won’t be to tidy his bedroom… it will be to play his video games.
A mother with young children who is walking through the shopping centre may make her number one priority HER CHILDREN while his may be to buy yet another T-Shirt for himself. Have you not noticed yourself shaking your head at what your partner purchases? You say what the????? Well, they say the same about what you think, feel and buy.
THE way to get out of any RUT is to step back and take a look at what YOU have been contributing to that relationship, THAT HASN”T BEEN WORKING. Many times couples look at the other person and complain about what the other person does or doesn’t do. Look at what YOU contribute FIRST.
BTW The answer will be ACCEPTANCE. Couples in a rut have forgotten to give each other the respect to have an opinion, even if it isn’t the same as their own. Learning to accept your partners opinion and NOT reacting negatively to it ……is the answer.
MONTHLY ask your spouse the following question: Is there any ONE THING more I can do to improve our relationship?
Couples often attempt to mind read each other … and they suck at it. This question allows both people to freely offer a request .. ONE request not a million. If you love that person you should be happy to ask it every month.
Make certain that you personally feel at least an 8 out of 10. In other words that you feel very good. If your partner is down or feeling upset, it will be their feelings and emotions… not yours. Keep out of your partners emotional turmoil. When one of you goes into a downward spiral DON’T JOIN THEM OR BLAME THEM, just look after your own emotions and watch your partner bounce back quicker.
Talk MORE. Being able to speak more open and freely is worth more than a fancy restaurant night out. Don’t waste money and time on putting Band-Aids on relationships. Date nights, presents to each other and other short term fixes don’t work. Spend quality time together talking about everyone and everything. Accept your opinions will be different and enjoy learning more about your partner as you grow old together. A Relationship isn’t supposed to be a war, it’s supposed to be easy and it will be if you do these simple yet powerful changes.